Presented at the Ocala Munch's "hands-on learning" class on Wax-Play,
Sunday, April 12, 2015 ~ by Ms Lyndsey.

Wax-play 101

Hot wax in sex play is another way that can be used to increase Adrenalin and arousal.
Hot waxplay, in its simplest forms, is when discreet, consenting adults use a wax-warmer or candles to paint, pour, or drip wax on another person.  Occasionally people will drip wax on the bottom's genital area or insert a long candle into the vagina or anus and let the wax run down the sides of the candle until the area is obscured, often times until a large mound is formed.

The temperature of the wax hitting the bottom is regulated by the distance a candle or a ladel, pyrex measuring cup, paint brush, or jar containing warn wax is held above the bottom. The temperature becomes cooler in proportion to the height it is held above the bottom. Ice and/or cold water should be kept on hand for accidents or simply to alternate the sensations.

The following information is provided so that you may have an understanding of wax play and safety during waxplay. If you are a novice to or inexperienced in waxplay, please read through and research before starting.

**NOTE:** I accept NO responsibility or liability for how you play. Please remember to always observe SSC, RACK, or other consent ideals.

Safety Intro
The temperature of any wax used should stay under 110 degrees Fahrenheit. If wax gets hotter than this, scalding of the bottom may occur. The temperature of wax can be tested on the inside of your wrist just as though you were checking the temperature of a baby bottle. You should also keep very cold water or ice and burn ointment nearby in the event of an accidental burn.

Make sure your bottom is not wearing any oil based lotions / perfume.

Many people who do wax-play like to have a fire extinguisher close by (some use a bucket of water) as a tipped over candle could start a fire really fast. An out of control fire with someone tied down is never a good thing.

Remember the 11th SM commandment…..Thou shall not damage thy sub (or bottom).

Different Types of Wax and Colors:
Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There will be reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

  •  Avoid beeswax candles. Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
  •  Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
  •  Avoid candles with metallic colors. These often contain poisonous metallic salts.  What is a metallic colored candle?  Any silver, gold, bronze candle as well as those that contain glitter. 
  •  Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature and may cause scalding. 
  •  Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the bottom.  

How can you tell any of these apart.  Read the ingrediants on the candle.  Most candles that do not have metal or iron wicks will say so.

If you’re just starting out with wax play and want to ease your way in, start by using soy or paraffin wax. Both have low melting temperatures, and soy wax (provided it’s uncolored) can be easily cleaned off fabrics and hair with hot soapy water.  Use plain 100% paraffin candles, these burn at a safer temperature for waxplay. Remember, color does affect the temperature at which candles melt. Red candles tend to drip hotter than black or white. Some candle makers who state that they make candles for BDSM will tell you that the melting point is all that matters and not the color. Yes ~ candles made from the same wax will all melt at the same temperature.  However, it's color in the candle that retains the heat - some longer then others.

Suggestions Before Getting Started
A few good pointers before starting a scene: To avoid a big mess to clean up, have the bottom lay on top of a cheap vinyl shower curtain or table cloth. Do the waxing in an area that can be easily vacuumed or swept. If wax is spilled on carpet or bed sheets...good luck getting it out (but not impossible.  Place a rag over the wax and warm it using an iron.  I would suggest not to use your best sheets.

If the bottom is very hairy, you can have them shave or place saran wrap over them for easy removal.  **CAUTION**  You need to be even more aware of the temperature of the wax because if the wax is too hot it will melt the Saran Wrap and burn the bottom.   You can also try using wax that will not stick to the hair. There are some jar candles that are made from wax that will not stick to hair. These contain an oil that helps keep the wax from sticking to hair. 

You may also choose to restrain the bottom. Restraints are a good idea if candles are placed close enough to where the bottom/submissive can accidentally knock them over, but be certain to use quick release restraints. (Remember:  House Fire + restrained sub = serious trouble).

A waxing scene can be short or can take up to 90 minutes or even longer. At some point the bottom will need to move a little.   If you are planning on having an especially long scene (more than 2 hours), you may wish to make sure your bottom will be comfortable for the long term, and you may wish to be sure that they use the restroom before you start. Also drinks with bendable straws are nice (if you want to be nice ~ EG).

Watch out for puddling in low areas like belly buttons (especially if they are an "inny"). This can make heat too concentrated. What I normally do is purposely pour just a little wax into belly button and keep adding a little more after it sets up. This will basically "fill" the area so it can't puddle up there at the hottest temperature. Plus you can pull it out afterwards and show them a mold of their belly button! This mold idea also works for the pussy if you do it thick enough.  It is fun to pull it off and show it to them and say "See what you pussy looks like! "


It is best to start off with wax that has no added colors. Drip or paint little bits of wax at varying heights and areas of the body to help the bottom get into headspace and to help build up a tolerance. Start using the various colors, remembering that different colors burn at different temperatures.  Remember to test on your inner wrist first. 

This is information on color from a bottom:  The only one she has been able to notice a difference in is fluorescent yellow. To her fluorescent yellow feels cold. Talking to some other bottoms I have played with, I was informed they were more sensitive to other colors.  So, it is always a good idea during your scene negotiation, to talk to the bottom to find out if they are more sensitive to any particular color candle.  

Go for a steady series of drops. Rotate the candles around while dripping so it burns evenly or a smooth pour from the larger candles. Constantly, drip the wax at various heights and different areas. Different areas of the body may not be able to tolerate as much as other areas (i.e. private sensitive areas).

With someone who I have not played with before or has never tried wax, I sometimes will tap on the body where I'm about to drip the wax at the start and as the scene gets more into it, I slowly back away from the tapping. This allows the bottom to focus on where to expect the wax and as she/he starts getting into sub space you fade the tapping away.

Make various designs. Use your imagination.

For females the breasts, nipples and vagina can be very erotic. One of my favorite waxing scenes was one where she was covered in wax from her neck down to her toes.

For males the thighs, cock and balls are especially sensitive. You can make a "penis mold" by totally coating the area. One trick I heard about was to encase flacid penis in wax and then get him hard and have him break through the wax shell.

I also love to pour a small amount onto my hand and then rub it on the submissive, like massaging the breasts with warm wax or  . . . other areas ~ BG

Ice is another good thing to add... a little fire and ice. One idea is take a piece of ice in your hand and let it melt and drip on to the bottom.  They feel something hit their skin and they are expecting heat and their mind goes, "NOooo wait a minute!!"  (Or you may be called a "SOB," "Bastard!" or "BI^#H!" It can be a very nice mind fuck!  Another idea is to take a piece of ice and wax it onto the body or yoju cut a little piece of the wax and slide a piece of ice into the hole. Then when it melts they get a rush of cold water and it's a lot like votives ~ another fun thing to do is to put a piece of ice next to a votive. The bottom will never know when they are going to get fire or ice !!!!!

If you have a hairy submissive, hairy chest or hairy private areas, and are nervous about using wax that does not stick to hair: Wrap that person in plastic wrap to keep the wax from sticking to hair. Mummification is a trip all by itself so adding hot wax can take it to a whole new level. Or if you want to be really sadistic, let the wax stick to the hair and the removal will be a lot of pain. Some people say to NEVER USE oils i.e. baby oil on a bottom beforehand because it is their opinion that this is like coating your bottom in cooking oil before throwing them in the oven.  I prefer non-oil base lotions.  My favorite to use is Lubiderm® Daily Moisture Lotion Fragrance-Free.


If you intend to use votives, allow some of the wax to pool in one of the candles. Pour enough wax to hold the votives in place. Place the votives on and hold until the wax sets. As the votives melt, the spilling will add to the sensation. The votives hold the wax until towards the end of the scene, and then can overflow in a rush of warm sensation. Or you can shake the bottom a little and make it flow out or tickle her and watch her try not to move (make sure the votives are attached VERY well if you're going to try this).   The bottom is now in a higher headspace and tolerance level. Also, it helps convince the bottom to remain still unless they want a lot of wax poured on at once. Check the votives throughout the scene to make sure they have not burned down too far, and as the wax softens make sure the wick does not fall over.

Jar Candles

Jars have gotten to be the favorite waxing candle for some wax-players.  When using jar candles EACH time before you light them you must check them for cracks, even a small crack in glass when heat or flame hits it can cause the jar to shatter or a piece could fall off in the middle of the scene and nothing will mess up your scene more than a hot piece of glass falling on your bottom.

There are some bottoms who hate the feel of wax dripping on them. They like the feeling of warm wax but there is something about the dripping that they do not like.  This is where you will want to try using a cheap paint brush and dip the brush in warm wax then paint it on the bottom so that they get use to the feel of warm wax being brushed on their skin. This works well for crock pots, wax-warmer, and jar candles.

Crock Pots
Wax can also be melted in crock pot. Most of these have two settings, High and Low, you will need to fine tune your setting a little more. How some people do this is get crock pot and then have a dimmer switch placed into the cord. Do not buy a cheap switch this will not allow you to fine tune the temperate wax well enough.  There are now plug in dimmer switches that you can plug your crock-pot into then use the dimmer switch to moderate the temperture of the wax in the crock-pot.  You can test the temperature of the wax using a candy thermometer. 

You can get an old crock-pot at a yard sale or a thrift store.  The plug-in dimmer switch mentioned above can be found in a hardware store as can the candy thermometer.  Once the wax is at just above its melting point, you can use all types of fun stuff to get the wax on the submissive from a coffee cup, turkey baster, spoon, paint brush (don't use anything that you will want to use later). You can also pour wax into a cup, let it cool a little more before pouring or brushing it on the submissive.

Wax Removal:
Removing the wax can be just as erotic and full of sensation as the actual waxing.

If you are into knife play, this is a good time to do it. You can remove the wax mold intact and keep it as a souvenir. After removing the majority of the wax, try using a knife to scrape the wax off or rubbing with baby oil. The skin is very sensitive once the wax is removed. 

Another fun way to remove wax is to flog it off!!  Be sure that the wax is completely set & dry.  We prefer using floggers made of paracord or rubber due to the ease of cleaning.  When flogging the wax off, it can "look" like you are flogging the top layer of skin off.  Another nice mind fuck if the bottom can actually see it happening.

 Wax-play 201 ~ Extreme wax-play (this info is included here because it was mentioned during this class. There is way more to this 201 level class):

Temporary Branding with wax!
This works best if the bottom has light skin, and everyone is different so it could last from a few minutes to a few hours. What you do is take a plastic cookie cutter (do not use a metal one) and place it on the bottom. Pour warm wax into the cutter and let it set. Continue to add more hot wax as the bottom can handle as this will prolong the heat and help make the temporary brand brighter & last longer. Please remember when you pour wax into concentrated area to be sure to give time for the bottom to adjust to the temperature. Once the wax cools peel off the mold with the wax and you will have that shape temporarily branded on your submissive. You can do cool things hearts, hand prints, and one of my favorite is letters and you can spell out nice things: Slut, Whore, Slave, Cock Whore, etc.

Waxing 301 ~ Art Wax and Designs (this info is included here because it was mentioned during this class. There is way more to this 301 level class):

 This is a lot easier than it looks. But it does take a lot of time, so make sure you submissive has used the restroom and that you have well padded waxing table and maybe a drink handy (a bottle of water) with a bendable straw. 

What I normally do is use my wax-warmer with clear wax in it for the basic coat. Put this coat on very thick (about ⅛ - ¼" thick, plus or minus). Then I take a knife and cut a pattern into the think coat of wax. Not all the way threw  . . .  yet.  Once you're happy with the layout you can cut the wax deeper and remove the pieces you want to wax with different colors. The skin will be a little sensitive, depending on what color you are using, you may need to put another small coat of clear. When you're ready to add color,  the easiest way is to have jar candles already lit and paint brushes ready.

You can also make and use of a template or other a pattern that you made out of card stock paper.  Then you can use the template or pattern that you made to cut the shape out of the white wax base coat.  Colorize . . . then you have your piece of art!

You can also do art work using crayons!  Heat the crayons in warm wax enough so they get soft then "color" with them!