A real relationship doesn’t properly begin until the NRE burns away. That’s when you have to start dealing with this person as an all-around human being, replete with irritating little habits. When disillusion sets in, love can begin.
― Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory
(In reference to swingers) In the meantime, if you wish to declare yourself polyamorous, get used to the fact that the confusion is gong to remain as a pejorative. Sure, clear up the misunderstanding as much as you can, but don’t put too much effort into setting yourself up as a “good”, responsible, community-oriented polyamorist by contrasting yourself to the “bad” swingers – they may not be your siblings, but they’re definitely your cousins.
– Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/519466-in-reference-to-swingers-in-the-meantime-if-you-wish
It’s a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in…because that’s what’s familiar. That’s the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they’re just continuing the pattern.
– Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/538877-it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-monogamous-people
So, a little advice. Relax. You’re not filling a job position. You’re looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend… who turns out to be attractive to your senses… and a rewarding lover… then a committed partner whose heart will not stray. If you don’t see those signposts and in that order, then you’re probably on the wrong road and getting more lost with every step.
– Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/540450-so-a-little-advice-relax-you-re-not-filling-a-job
When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It’s an alarm, nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as such.
– Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/539434-when-jealousy-rears-up-it-indicates-that-something-inside-of
Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who also possess that same sort of security, and build some sort of family or community as a team.
– Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/519460-security-comes-first-from-inside-of-you-then-if-you